at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize