Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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  (303): I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality http://tfl.nu/hof4
  Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (934)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.

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  (512): I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck. http://tfl.nu/pefb
  Replies (8) Good night (1568) Bad night (1301)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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  (937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z
  Replies (46) Good night (6136) Bad night (8797)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day

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  (703): bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day http://tfl.nu/098u
  Replies (13) Good night (5026) Bad night (1209)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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  (818): She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again..... http://tfl.nu/lpua
  Replies (5) Good night (2931) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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  (419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h
  Replies (8) Good night (1943) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1187) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.

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  (410): Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/e9o5
  Replies (1) Good night (968) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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  (916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1893) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.

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  (646): Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with. http://tfl.nu/g4xi
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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  (215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural

  (407): View more from Florida

  YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT

  (239): View more from Florida

  ..........

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  (239): I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural (407): YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT (239): .......... http://tfl.nu/j8fw
  Replies (8) Good night (1590) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what are you going as for halloween?

  (805): View more from California

  drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable

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  (818): what are you going as for halloween? (805): drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable http://tfl.nu/bmlt
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (296)

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