Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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  (616): I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one... http://tfl.nu/uf1v
  Replies (16) Good night (648) Bad night (5158)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Wtf? Why?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I want awesome conversations to show the world.

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  (702): We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs (1-702): Wtf? Why? (702): I want awesome conversations to show the world. http://tfl.nu/kf4n
  Replies (27) Good night (4422) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail

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  (864): I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail http://tfl.nu/plfb
  Replies (47) Good night (736) Bad night (13179)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

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  (540): I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it. http://tfl.nu/dv65
  Replies (45) Good night (10940) Bad night (2545)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5425) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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  (805): My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes http://tfl.nu/ouc0
  Replies (12) Good night (4799) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.

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  (330): now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before. http://tfl.nu/kk2m
  Replies (14) Good night (2553) Bad night (1074)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2551) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3429) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.

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  (415): What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again. http://tfl.nu/hwy2
  Replies (9) Good night (954) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.

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  (240): Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9wdm
  Replies (21) Good night (1113) Bad night (4949)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.

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  (719): I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/5dxo
  Replies (11) Good night (1335) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

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  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1675) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck him.

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  (304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7
  Replies (2) Good night (1320) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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  (716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y
  Replies (0) Good night (759) Bad night (253)

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