the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron