Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  VAGINAS EVERYWHERE

  (804): View more from Virginia

  they're staring at me

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  (804): VAGINAS EVERYWHERE (804): they're staring at me http://tfl.nu/jqj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1949) Bad night (733)
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  (323): View more from California

  Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."

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  (323): Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel." http://tfl.nu/elen
  Replies (61) Good night (4741) Bad night (988)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4885) Bad night (1222)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1993) Bad night (5308)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again

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  (816): That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again http://tfl.nu/xxfj
  Replies (68) Good night (13208) Bad night (2571)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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  (419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65
  Replies (8) Good night (4314) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

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  (503): #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex http://tfl.nu/si5x
  Replies (10) Good night (980) Bad night (3281)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The key to alley sex is drunkeness.

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  (780): The key to alley sex is drunkeness. http://tfl.nu/zhh3
  Replies (7) Good night (2322) Bad night (896)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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  (609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.

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  (757): Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi. http://tfl.nu/br2l
  Replies (2) Good night (2130) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out

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  (306): We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out http://tfl.nu/zt8v
  Replies (3) Good night (1790) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

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  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (1044) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him

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  (704): i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him http://tfl.nu/hqgs
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again

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  (610): Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again http://tfl.nu/400n
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...

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  (586): I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation... http://tfl.nu/5o32
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (520)

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