Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money? http://tfl.nu/t6x6
  Replies (18) Good night (5847) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1226) Bad night (4277)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics http://tfl.nu/kq58
  Replies (44) Good night (1631) Bad night (4342)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door. http://tfl.nu/li4e
  Replies (10) Good night (4690) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement http://tfl.nu/oky4
  Replies (12) Good night (4802) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car. http://tfl.nu/l3cg
  Replies (9) Good night (1517) Bad night (4816)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here. http://tfl.nu/jd5o
  Replies (8) Good night (3357) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day. http://tfl.nu/hbn0
  Replies (4) Good night (2200) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate http://tfl.nu/79c0
  Replies (7) Good night (3290) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag http://tfl.nu/xidr
  Replies (4) Good night (2321) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame. (724): When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face http://tfl.nu/6r6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2696) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal. http://tfl.nu/6tzy
  Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside. http://tfl.nu/ipia
  Replies (14) Good night (624) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes. http://tfl.nu/l52c
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (296): View more from

  just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (296): just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night http://tfl.nu/8qw8
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (684)

Randomize