Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My vagina is officially offended.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
