I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are all done wearing pants today
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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