Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
