let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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