I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
