we have officially lost it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
