Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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