think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
