I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
