he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
