we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
