Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Text me some of your sweat
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
