i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
