butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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