garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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