it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
