So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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