doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
