She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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