The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
