We need to rekindle our bromance
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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