What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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