I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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