She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
