He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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