I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
