Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
