She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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