Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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