onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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