I am puke
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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