hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
