laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.