That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
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ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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