What did we do last night that was yellow?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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