Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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