i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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