DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
this is an emotional support booty call
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
