So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i think my cat just said my name.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
