Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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