I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
