I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
