I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
