Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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