Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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