I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
