ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
