I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
