"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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