OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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