Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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