I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
