i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.