Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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(406): View more from Montana

i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

(1-406): View more from Montana

haha i know

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Howd it go?

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.

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