First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?