Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian