Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
