You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize