Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
