those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
